I know that if there is God, he/she lives right inside of me…my good thoughts & my kindness, how deeply & fully & faithfully I love, my compassion and my empathy for those less fortunate than I…if there is God, I don’t need to look in books or go to a building where somebody tells me I should be if I want God to know about me.  “There’s only one commandment, don’t be an asshole” is a quote I have loved for years, and I think it’s true…if there is God, God knows that I am not a jerk, it really is that simple, to me.

I have become somebody I love again.  I have become my own best cheerleader again.  She never left me, our friendship never fizzled out, she just was a bit too quiet for too long for my own good, she’s back to being LOUD again and I like her better when she turns it up…my discovery, my awakening I guess is that I let other people’s judgments and thoughts and fears and criticisms infect me, to the point that all the mean and negative things that were swirling around in my mind, kind of, well no, they totally shut out all the wonderful and positive and loving…and I learned that when you let other people’s worries and upsets and beliefs become YOURS, you hurt yourself and only yourself, they don’t care that you now feel upset and worried and question what you thought you believed…it’s like gonorrhea, somebody gives it to you and then they walk away and now you are left with the misery or trying to cure it!  When the fears of other people make you question yourself, and diminish your very happiness, your contentedness with yourself, that’s a problem.  I understand now better than ever, that entire religions keep their shee-ople in line doing just this…fear and worry.  Well, it’s not for me.

Carole King and James Taylor, oh…just thinking of them singing makes me sigh with a deeply loving and contentedness feeling…can’t you just FEEL comforted, reading these words, winter spring summer or fall, all you have to do is call…you can’t help but sing them in your mind…and you know what?  It’s true.  You’ve got a friend.  All you have to do is call.  No matter where, what, when, or how.  When you are down and when you need a helping hand and when you feel like nothing is going right…she is right in-between your ears ♥  If you need a friend right now, and can’t quite get your thoughts in line, here they are…from 1971, celebrating Carole’s amazing song writing and feel better-ing abilities.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHhjKQ8L_iU  This video from YouTube is one of my favorites as it starts in 1971 and finishes up 40 years later, which is a wonderful REMINDER that you have a friend for your WHOLE LIFE!!!  It’s with you forever.  Like Glinda tells Dorothy, “you’ve always had the power my dear.”

I listened a lot to what I call my *singing ladies* mix over the winter.  A mix of songs that, while not energizing or good energy-pumping for heavy or intense work or cleaning, make me feel good from the inside out…Carole King, Cat Power, Aimee Mann, Joni Mitchell, Patti Smith…those are just a few, but they sing and wrote songs that if you listen to them often enough, you begin to feel like they were written with you in mind.  Lyrics that swirl around in your head become a constant companion, so much better than nasty judgmental words that somebody said to you that hurt your feelings, or vicious criticism that you read from an email somebody sent you…You learn to let go of all that shit when you finally realize that God, or the power, or the friend that you most need, is right inside of you all the time.  What a way to get rid of the dull and dreary winter thoughts, spring…hope, growth, bright warmth, awakening…