There are many moments of every day when most of us have to engage with others and check-in with those we care for or are accountable to, but I believe that the person we most need to touch base with is the one we all seem to address the least…our own selves. I don’t have growing young children who need my care and supervision, I don’t have a demanding husband who requires dinner at a certain time or his dry cleaning picked up, I don’t have unwell or infirm elderly parents for whom I have to schedule appointments or medical services , & I don’t have snarky boss to answer to. I don’t have the daily dramas or upsets that many others suffer. I do babysit my granddaughters, and have a boyfriend who lives with me, my parents are well and happy and vibrant, and I’m self-employed, which sure can be stressful at times, but I really do like all the different jobs I do, so I simply don’t have many of the same stressors that other people do. This does not imply that all is rosy all of the time; certainly I’ve got issues in my life that I very much want or need to tend, and sure, one or two sometimes cause me irritability or occasional sleeplessness, but it does mean that I am perhaps more able than some to sort out the things that demand more of my attention, and sweep away the things that don’t really matter quite so much. I am accountable to so few people. I have started this new year in a new mind-set, that so far I think is working out nicely…I am checking in with myself more than I’m checking in with anybody else, and I am adjusting and editing and modifying as needed…I am becoming accountable to me.
We live in a world where it is very easy, almost too easy, to allow what is outside of us to dictate the level of happiness inside of us. I am a student of many philosophies, which sounds haughty, but what I mean is that I read, a lot, about so many different ways to be and ways to think, and while the authors vary, the message at the end is almost always is the same…it is all in us at all times…none of it is outside of us.
This is not to say I don’t get mad, or upset, I do. BUT I don’t let it linger and implant and grow…or better said, I try very hard to process information, make a choice how to act and proceed and be done with it. I get annoyed and then I ponder the annoyance and then I try to let it go. It’s a process and it isn’t always easy to do and I often fail.
Sure, sometimes I find myself over thinking about some issue, or some wrong that I think ought to be righted, and when I discover this is happening, I check in with myself. The ability to let things go that have hurt me turns out to be one of the healthiest changes I’ve made so far in this new year. Some people cause hurt to others and don’t even know it…they go on about their days without even realizing their actions hurt my feelings or made me suffer in some way, or maybe they just don’t care, however small or big the hurt might be, but by dwelling on it, the only person who continues to hurt is me. What on earth is the good in that??!! So when I am hurt in whatever way, I must not let that hurt linger. “Snap out of it!” in a Cher in Moonstruck kind of way. Check in with myself: how did this make me feel? Do I want to keep feeling like this or do I want to move on? How can I better handle this feeling if ever it happens again? Am I at all culpable? These may seem like silly questions to ask yourself, but they are questions that you need to answer if you want to let peace and happiness be your way of life. It’s looking like today is going to be beautiful weather. If your soul and heart and mind are stormy you’ll miss out on this perfect gift from Mother Nature. I hope you have an early check-in with yourself today and I promise, you’ll enjoy your stay.