So for many months I have followed some internet groups and forums for people who like to crochet. I love that people share pictures of their work, finished items, works in progress, ask help for gauges or needles or yarns, or seek advice, but yesterday morning I noticed that the majority of the posts I had recently seen started out with self-defeating comments like, “I know it’s not great but” or “it’s not the best” and nonsense negative talk of this type…SO being the kind of person I am, I made a general post on one of the sites called Crochet Addict. I wrote that everything everyone makes is amazing. That we are women who enjoy an “old-fashioned” hobby and I love how people seek feedback, but could they please not so often include negative comments, such as I described above, that couldn’t we agree that it is amazing that any of us make things at all, and appreciate it, without women putting themselves down…
So I noticed during my lunch break at work yesterday that 390 people had “liked” my post but that 41 people had made comments. So I looked at what the comments were. GOOD GRIEF People!!!??? Needless to say, my uplifting and positive comment was met with many grossly distorted interpretations and then comments about how ‘bullies who have confidence are always wanting to tell other people how to feel’ and how ‘maybe some of us who have suffered 43 years of abuse don’t have the confidence in our work that you do’ and ‘why would you tell people how to think or ask for help’ and another one who wrote, “you know men crochet too don’t you” …Over-Thinking much ladies??!! Oh my goodness…I was just trying to share some positive vibes, to encourage some of these women to take pride in their work and their tasks!
So I deleted my comment and I deleted myself from the group and “un-joined” the forum…ALL I was trying to do was to remind these people that anytime we sit down to create something, is IS worthy of praise, however elementary or stupendous our skill level might be…AND instead, and I guess I should have expected it, people chose to read into my words, WAY more, or different meaning, than I intended…I felt sort of sad and then sort of annoyed…BUT then the light bulb came on in my head, as it often does minutes or hours or days after an event, and I realized that negative people are always going to find the negative, in anything, no matter what…they lack the ability to read my simple words, and fail to interpret the intent because they are seeking to find the bad in all and everything…and then I felt kind of sad for them and a little sad for myself, as I did love seeing the different stitches and patterns that people shared.
I really wasn’t aiming to tell women how to “be” and was just reminding them all that there is no need to put yourself down, ever! So I am back to YouTube only for my crocheting tutorials and Pinterest for my ideas and I learned a lesson…no need to try to share my positive view, I’ll do like my boyfriend advises and just keep my upbeat-ness to myself 😉