…there is a way.  I know this.  We ALL know this.  If we want something to happen, or something not to happen, regardless of what IT is, we have the power to create the reality that we desire.  If we want more money, we have the power to spend less and work more.  If we want more time, we have the power to wake up earlier and go to bed later.  If we want to get back into our skinny jeans, we have the power to eat better and exercise more.  If we want better grades, we have the power to watch less tv. and study more.  Everything and anything we want is within our grasp, it is all possible, but it requires deliberate changes in our behavior.  There is no magic spell, there is no magic pill, there is no magic at all, we just have to DO something different from what we did before.

If we keep doing things the way we have always done them, and repeatedly keep wishing for, or expecting some different outcome or result, well, then according to Einstein, we are insane.  I am, I have been told, an impatient person.  When I get something in my brain, regardless of what it is, I become consumed with the idea of it, and want what I want, now.  I despise the character Veruca Salt, who whines incessantly, “I want an Oompa Loompa now!” “Hey Daddy I want a golden goose”  “I don’t care how I want it now!” and yet, if I look deep into myself, it seems I am often very Veruca Salt-ish, &  we know what happened to her at the chocolate factory.

We all struggle with the battle between Wants vs. Needs.  I often find I struggle with the fact that many I know struggle far less than I.  The envious side of me is the side I loathe the most, and any self-loathing is hardly a characteristic to one’s betterment. The, “I’ll have what she’s having” a`-la When Harry Met Sally way of life.  I am well aware, painfully so at times, that this aspect of myself, the inability to just live in the now, accept what is, be happy with what is, the daily fight with simply being content, is part of my nature and behavior that I want to change.

I have and read the Eckhart Tolle and Marianne Williamson books.  I have books filled with empowering quotes.  I know the rule; be happy or be sad, the amount of energy is the same.  My freakishly strong arms have carried heavy loads and moved heavy objects, but it is my brain that presently needs a work-out, it is my mind that needs a new exercise regimen.  I am at a point in my life that I must change the way that I think.  There is no way I can continue to dance around & avoid this simple basic truth.   It is as clear a statement as that; I want to think differently about some things.  I share the dark side of myself sometimes, not to just get it off my chest, but because I know I’m not alone…I have the will and now I must find my way.