This year, Wednesday, was the saddest birthday of my life. For months I had been practically giddy, and gloriously positive that for my 57th birthday I was going to get our first female as our 47th president. What we got, what nearly half of the country chose, and believed to BE the better choice, was an extraordinarily unqualified man and gruesomely poor public speaker, rather than a woman whose entire adult life has been working in public service, who speaks with passion, and in clear full sentences about very important things.

Would you hire a math tutor who failed math and did not have a college degree to help your son with school?? BUT you think the economy, still healing after a global pandemic, will be improved by a man who went bankrupt multiple times, has been convicted of falsifying business records, and thinks tariffs are an answer to lower prices?? Would you want your son’s new wife to be a woman who cheated on all three of her last husbands?? BUT you think a man who cheated on all three of his wives, and has been accused of sexual misconduct is a “family man??” No, you would want the math tutor to be both qualified and capable to do the job you hire him for and have the positive ratings of others who have used him so you know you are getting a good service for a good price. No, you would tell your son that if she cheated on all three of her past lovers she will probably cheat on him too, and that he should probably seek a more honest partner. BUT HERE WE ARE…

Now, to be clear, I studied criminal justice and law, and feminist theory and women’s history in college and while I did graduate in the top 1% of my class, I am not exceptionally smart nor do I claim to be smarter than you, but I am smart enough to believe that when our nation’s highest ranking military officer says out loud about a presidential candidate that he is “the most dangerous person to this country” I believe him. When I read multiple interviews with a number of people who have worked side by side with this candidate, and they have said and been quoted in no uncertain terms, that he is not qualified to do this job, I believe them. AND YET, millions of people who like to think they are patriotic, because they are flying American flags and many with bumper stickers that say “we the people” voted for a person who tried to overthrow the last election, stole classified government documents, and falsified his own business records, according to several who actually know and knew and worked for him, and was even described as “fascist to the core.” IS this how we love our country, is this the new patriotism?? SO does this mean that voters heard these stories about this candidate and don’t care, or heard these stories about this candidate and like the idea of a liar and cheater as their president?? Do they think, oh sure the left says he is bamboozling me but I don’t believe it?? Is this where we are??

My eyes are still puffy from crying and my heart is heavy for people I love and people I care about who are gay, who are not white, who are nonbinary, who are teachers and doctors, who are the light workers and the helpers. My heart is exceptionally heavy for every young woman of child bearing age, and ANYONE who did not even bother to read ANY of PROJECT 2025, who could not at the very least make some time to read about what many people were saying and warning us about, well For Shame For Shame For Shame…I read quite a bit and found every bit rather terrifying. I have joked for years, but it’s also really who I feel I am, that I am a silver lining seeker, and so in this depth of despair I feel this morning and have felt for more than 60 hours now, that I will have to look hard for the silver linings…I wonder is there something that millions of people see in him that is so admirable and honorable that they picked him over her?? Will I ever see what they see in him?? I can’t imagine as I have felt nothing but disgust for him since 2015 when he mocked that physically disabled reporter…so it is highly unlikely anything will sway me…I realize rich people want to get richer and I realize that poor people want to blame others for their hardships, and those of us in the middle have to pick a side. I live in an area of the country where I am the blue dot in a sea of red and let me tell you, having a maga devoted family and living in a maga devoted area is soul-crushing, but every day I wake up I tell myself that we have to find common ground and every day I truly try, but what does it say about people, when presented with two choices, an either/or, that literally half pick one and think it’s great and the other half think it is horrific??!! What happened on Tuesday is that evidently somehow 15 million or so people chose not to choose at all, and the other millions were split almost down the middle, and the worst possible person won, again…so here we are. I hope the cost of their diet coke is worth whatever comes next…