When I left my corporate job for the unknown of self employment I had to move my retirement account.  I did a lot of research; asked my BigDad for tips, who was very good with understanding the stock market, and I read a lot of Suze Orman, but when I had to make the final decision about where to put my money within the 60 day window in order to avoid any fees, I went with my gut.  I found a mutual fund called the “Star” fund and despite all my reading and all my searching for information, I went with the one that spoke to me…Over all these years I have been very pleased with the rate of return.  I’ve added to it in the years when I’ve been able and I’ve moved things around when there have been changes in the tax laws and it was beneficial to my future to do so.  But as a single woman I’ve had neither the good fortune nor the ability to put money in an IRA every year, I’ve not been able to save 10% of my income, or eight months worth of living expenses as a cushion.  I read plenty to know what I ought to be doing, but I can’t do any of it, so I simply do the best with what I’ve got.

I think about life much  like I think about my investment…I put in what I can, whenever I can, and if the rate of return stops proving beneficial to me, I change things around…I’ve made plenty of mistakes too, I imagine whenever we take a risk, be it with our money or our heart, we expose ourselves to the danger of loss.  I’ve ended relationships that perhaps would have proven beneficial to me if I stuck it out a little longer, and I’ve moved money too fast that I should have let sit and grow and would have exploded in value if I had not been in a rush.  I heard on the news the other day that the stock market had a spike after the government finally reopened, and so I looked at the details of my fund, and without making any deposit at all this year, it still grew by a few thousand dollars, and I felt like maybe I’m doing okay…not as well as I wish I were, but okay, and in a way that’s about all one can do right?  Feel okay…

I generally do not do things carelessly.  I generally think very much about my actions and the consequences of the choices I make.  Sure, I regret some things I have done or did not have the balls to do, but in general I play the hand I am dealt and can only try again to do better next time when I’ve folded but should have bet, or bet but should have folded.  When it comes to matters of my heart, I try to behave in a way that gives me the greatest rate of return. I try to love fully and I try to be kind above all and I really do think about the future with every choice I make in how to act or react.  I may not have the kind of money I’d like to buy the kinds of things I’d like, or go the places I’d like to go, or do many of the things I’d like to do, but I have a whole lotta love in my life, and with every smile I get from someone I love, every shared laugh, with every joyful hug, with every wordless grin, I feel the rate of return on my investment grow…