Friend Finder.com

It’s just a computer program, Facebook, isn’t it?  Yet I hear people, often say with deep feeling, “I hate it” or “I love it” and we don’t really hear people say that about Adobe, or Norton, or, well, you get my drift…Facebook may just be a computer program but it did change my world.  My world that was sort of content in my aloneness, my world that was sort of content in my solo life, my world that was sort of content in my isolation, my world was changed because of a computer program.  That’s not an insignificant statement.

I have heard people say that there ought to be a civil suit someday against young Mark Z. because of all the cheating that has gone on, all the marriages that have broken up, all the inappropriate pictures that have been shared, all the splits and fights and awful that has come from those who found “something else” all because of Facebook…but I, silver lining seeker that I am, have found so much wonderful, that it seems young Mark Z. really pretty much changed my life.  To be clear, a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad relationship came into my life because of this website, but that’s gone now.  We silver lining seekers tend to dwell on the bad for only so long and then move our thoughts on to the positive, the beautiful, the splendid.

I have a handful of women in my life now, some “real” friends, meaning those I actually can see and touch and hear, and some “cyber” friends, meaning those who I can’t or don’t, but their value to me as friends is equally significant.  I TREASURE these soul-sisters, these kindred spirits I now have found, who I would not have found if it were not for this cyber space that is now part of most of our lives.  Before this site I had two really good girlfriends and a neighbor with whom I shared time.  Now I have more women in my life, who I really can call friends, than I ever had before, even in my youth and teens.  I have reconnected with grade school friends and high school friends and found, joyfully,that we have so much common ground as adults even if in our adolescence we seldom spoke.  My “alone-ness” is a thing of the past, even when I am here in my office, at my computer, alone.  I am connected to the world in a way I never was before.

In mid  June, one quiet night after work, on my computer screen in a section of “people I might know” was a picture of a man with a little girl with whom, according to Facebook, I shared 41 mutual friends.  “Who the heck is this?” thought I, that we went to the same high school at the same time and know all these same people and I have no idea who this person is…So I wrote this person a message with my friendly joyful tone, that I thought it was so funny that I had no idea on earth who he was and yet we know all these same people.  We wrote each other a couple of notes and planned three times to meet, each time I chickened out.  I was shy, a wall-flower, lacked self-confidence, busy with the wee-ones…those were my excuses, but they were also the truth.  The first time, I went in late June to see him play drums with a band he was in and I felt like a teenager again…the energy the laughter, seeing so many people out on a Wednesday night excited with the anticipation of another fun summer ahead of them.  I loved his energy, his enthusiasm, and oh my God he was an amazing drummer…but I did not have the courage to walk up to him and say hello.

At the end of June he was playing at a mutual friend’s wedding but I had to babysit, so I did not go.  I wanted to meet him but “life” seemed to be getting in the way.  On the 4th of July, the third invitation to meet, I was supposed to go see him play again.  He invited me, through this cyber space site, and I was frankly too tired after taking the wee-ones to the fireworks.  It was hot, I was showered and content under my ceiling fan in bed with a book.  He wrote me and asked me why I was not there…then he texted me, why was I not coming?  I told the truth.  I could not stand the thought of putting contacts in my eyes and I was not about to meet this beautiful drummer boy in my humble dorkiness of glasses and no make up…and then after his show was over, my cell phone rang and I first heard the voice that is now the voice I want to hear every single day.  A few hours later he came over for a drink and I first saw the smile that I now want to see every single day.  And there I was, at home, with no make up on, I was just simply me. And now, all these days later, I am thankful, that because of this cyber space world, this “evil” Facebook, I have a best friend, another wee-one in my world,  and more soul-sisters  than I ever could have possibly dreamed.  I have never felt less alone, even when I am here, in this house, all by myself.

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