Yes, I stole it. Falling usually hurts. Falling frequently involves breakage. To say that we “fall in love” sort of could be a bad thing, so I am Falling Up, frankly I already Fell, not falling, I’m up. I have had butterflies in my belly since the night of July 4th, well, 2:47 in the morning of the 5th if I wish to be pedantic. I have been known to be overly optimistic in matters of my heart. I guess because I think of myself as kind and deeply loving, I just assume that most others are generally good in nature, pure of heart, and coming from a place of friendship and love when interacting with me. I’ve been forced to remove my rose-colored glasses too many times and shovel the wax out of my ears…by this I mean that when we are newly in love or in like or in friendship, we can be so blinded and deafened by our dreams and wishes that we do not see or hear what is real…delusional maybe is the best word. I know I was…
If I could erase the last year and a half, maybe I would, however, I do believe that everyone, good or bad comes into our lives for a reason, that we have lessons to learn from every relationship and that if we are open to the belief that we are in fact always evolving, and like me on a constant “mission” to be better, to evolve, to look at things from a different perspective than I did before, well, we have to accept that relationships end, often badly, so that a better one can be found and nurtured and blossom.
I have had the best 173 hours of my life. To be clear, I have had many hours of awesomeness in my life, many times, but THIS particular bit of awesomeness is not something I have EVER experienced. I knew within minutes of meeting this person face to face that he might be MY PERSON. I felt it in my belly when we first spoke on the phone. I sensed it a little bit when we first started our text conversation on the 4th of July. I don’t know how I knew it or why I thought it, but I did. I think it is so beautiful that 173 hours of some kind of wonderful has magically erased the last year and a half of a whole lot of awful.
I know this feeling..it happened to me…in and out of relationships…but then I met “the one” and everything stopped churning in my head…I knew I could stop the search…a search I was having even though I was married to someone else(separated) and never felt at peace..35 years later here we are …