I am sad. I am mad. I am unnerved. I am eating too much sugar and using carbs as a coping mechanism. I feel like right now I am not in a good place mentally. I have been soul-crushingly sad since my birthday, November 6th, when I felt what might be the biggest disappointment of my life. I live in a neighborhood and area of New Jersey where lots of people do not think as I do about most things, and I began to shrink into a sadness that I am feeling such heaviness from I am kind of scared that it is not ever going to leave me. All of this is true…BUT…What is also true is that I live in a house that I designed myself and I love every inch of it and even now, 15 years after I moved in, I still get a little spine tingle when I go up the driveway. What is also true is that my granddaughters and my daughter live next door to me and I can see them and talk to them and hug them anytime I want. What is also true is that I live ten minutes from the ocean and can walk up over the dunes any day of any week and see the whole rest of the world in front of me. What is also true is that I love my job and I get to work on and in beautiful homes every day. What is also true is that I have good friends, so many friends; at the yoga studios, at the fitness center, in real life, and in cyber space. What is also true is that I joined an art therapy group filled with educated and like minded women and once a week we chat about current events and talk about what we can do about them while we create something new,and we discuss where and how we can make changes in our own lives to try to navigate the horribleness that we see unfolding before our eyes and hear the words that make our ears bleed. We talk about things that matter. My point is that while I am still feeling very low and somewhat powerless I am also loving and know I can make a difference, ever so small, to make the world a kinder and more compassionate place. I can do things that make my life better by focusing on the good. I can remind myself, every hour if need be, that when the history books write about this, I was on the good side. I am going to work very hard to not let the ugliness around me make my life ugly. In a world that seems increasingly like one that wants to kill my cheerful vibe, I plan to kick that gruesome energy to the curb. I am going to fight this fever of despair and try with all my strength to quell the debbie downer energy and to rejuvenate and share the joyful josie spirit that I know is within me…